I've got your hair

Turn around, you will see your hair. Tricked you, you have no hair if you are reading this because I would have stolen it by the second word. Do you want your hair back? You will have to work for it, take a spork and cut up a melon so it resembles my face, then mail it to your nearest bath house and I shall send a carrier pigeon to you shortly after I receive it. Send the pigeon back and you will be rewarded.